Showing posts with label Sparks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sparks. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2008

G(ossip)-Chat

I say that from now on all G-chat entries must have Brown guy as one half of the chatter. Recently while trying to persuade Brown Guy to watch Gossip Girl (it's now on an all new night (tonight) and it rules) he tried to shatter my hopes and dreams...

















Me: Damn!! Dan told S he loves her and all she said back was 'okay'. Then Chuck told B she sucks and no one wants to be her friend. Now B is gonna go to France to escape her problems. What else could happen?
Brown Guy: you're out of control. you need to find control. and then get back in it
Me: Whatever. you need to drink some sparks. just lose it. go full tilt and watch some gossip girl.
Brown Guy: i'm going to stand by with a camera when you turn 28 and i'm going to watch as life neuters you and then i'm going to make you watch the video of it. "just lose it" only happens on new years. everything else is bills and hustling
Me: when i turn 28, I'm going to neuter life. and then pour some hot sparks on it.
Brown Guy: hahaha. that's hilarious. life will take your hops. and then your balls. no dunking. and no "just lose it."
Me: life sucks. i only lose it a few times a year. remember being 21-23? that was losing it 5 days a week for no good reason. getting wrecked because it was half off on wed? wtf? I can't even go to the bar on wed anymore
Brown Guy: yeah. it's terrible. i just want to wild out. but i really can't. or i'm screwed at work. or in life.

The moral of the story is don't grow up. Move to Neverland (the place not the ranch) and drink Sparks.

Or as my boy R Kelly would say, "Now the moral of story is cuff yo bitch. I'm black, handsome, I sing, cause im rich - and I'ma flirt."

-Swami

Friday, January 11, 2008

Gmail Chat . . .

I am regularly part of many hilarious Gmail chats with Brown Guy (and others) so I thought I would start sharing some of my favorites every week or so. (The chat below happened shortly after the Mitchell Report was released.)

Me: So everyone in baseball does steroids . . . it doesn't bother me at all
Brown Guy: Me neither
frankly, I wish they did more
there would be more homeruns
that's all I care about
more homeruns
Me: Exactly, no one likes to watch "solid base hits"
Brown Guy: I'd like to watch someone hit a 700 foot homerun
I don't care if they're hopped up on Sparks and Andro
Me: You want to watch someone throw at 110 mph
Brown Guy: Yep
all that stuff
a 56 inch vertical leaper playing center field
Me: Baseball should just embrace it
Brown Guy: I think so, otherwise the sport is unbearable to watch
Me: Yeah, I feel like it's a bunch of old people who actually care
Brown Guy: "The good old days"
Me: I'm not sure anyone under 20 watches baseball
unless they are taken by old people
or need something to do while drinking during the summer
Brown Guy: Yep, baseball is terrible