Put Some Clothes On....

Recently, Other Guy and I have been going to the gym in our hometown and I guess we missed the memo that said "You must be naked and disgusting to enter the locker room." It's not like funny naked though. It's actually disgusting. First of all, I don't understand the allure of walking around naked in a room full of other guys. I could understand maybe if everyone was gay, but they're not. Not only that, I went to a gay gym last year. It wasn't called 'Gay Gym' (it was actually a Bally's) but it was 2 blocks from my apartment in Chelsea and it was mostly gay guys who went there. They weren't naked all the time. In fact, I don't think I ever saw one naked guy the entire time I was there. Granted they wore fishnet cut off shirts when they worked out, but they weren't naked.

I guess what makes me so mad is the way that they are naked. It isn't like just for a second before they put on clothes at their locker. It's the entire time they are in there. They get out of the shower and then walk around naked. This one guy blow drys his balls in front of the huge mirror which happens to be right in the entrance to the locker room. I saw another guy walk over to the urinal area completely naked. He wasn't even wearing flip-flops. I almost threw up when I saw that. People are really working hard to ruin my life over there.

I get it. You're naked. Cool. Go home and do it. I don't wanna see that. There's a reason I don't like looking at fat ugly naked white dudes, it's because you're disgusting. Don't talk to me when you're naked. Every time I go in there it's like f-ing Calendar Girls only instead of old naked white chicks it old naked fat pasty white dudes. Enough.

Seriously? I'm begging you. Put some clothes on.

-Swami

This is pretty much the only locker room situation I'm down with...