I guess if you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla

[DISCLAIMER- This post may have redundancy with previous posts, but kiss my a$$, this story's got legs---possibly stripper legs.]

What do Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick have in common with the wildest of wild gorillas? Simple answer. Everything. These two mammals have the wherewithal, gumption and audacity to rise to political stardom by connecting with people on the faux-issues they think they care about (in Detroit it's "who can be the 'blackest'" and in New York it's "who can bust Wall Street's nuts like squirrels before the winter") and then "govern" by polarizing constituencies, while failing to see beyond the diseased tip of their own penises, ultimately falling into the abyss of monkeyishness and "skeet- skeeting" that we now understand to be the political norm. Long, run-on sentence, I know. But I'm on a rant and that's real.


"Like twooooo gorillas in the jungle making love" - R. Kelly



Eliot: "I did not have sexual relations with this woman [she's too old and busted]."
Kwame: "All I need is a hot thang, hot thang, hot thang, hot thang..."

I'm sick of it. Maybe these so-called leaders take too much stock in the "power of the penis" and that's what allowed them to act up like some nubile hominids. But I doubt it.

Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick, you are the bammers of the millennium. As R-Kelly once mused in one of his countless ridiculous-ass songs, "youuuuu don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the helluponoutta heeeere." I look forward to seeing your impending downfall.

Impeach/Recall/Resign,

~Brown Guy

Elllliooooooot....

So Eliot Spitzer (guvernator of ny) is said to have been with high priced prostitutes. Here's what I don't get. When you're in a political office, Mayor of Detroit, President of America, Gov of NY, don't you think you'd stop spreading your goo until you're done. I could see in your last term maybe. You know, who cares if you get elected then. But during your first term, or early on in your career, you should probably just keep it in your pants. When all of your moves are coordinated, how do you even get away to do that. That's one thing I always wondered about Bill. He was the president. Every minutes of his day (everything I know about the presidency I learned from The West Wing) is coordinated by someone else. They tell him what to do and when to do it. So someone knew he was boffing Monica. So what I don't get is where you get the balls to do that. Someone was gonna tell someone. He knew it had to happen. I mean it takes one gully dude to say, 'I don't give a f@!k.' I mean that's some R Kelly type stuff.














I think the word I'm looking for is 'baller.'

How funny would it be in court though if someone on the stand brought in an ET doll and made him say "Elllioooooootttt." Hilarious.

In all honesty I plan on running for mayor one day of whichever city I settle down in (unless it's a big city) and you can be sure that I won't be doing that. Who has the time and energy to deal with that much ibodera when you're that old. No one.

Vote for me

-Swami