R-Kwame...

You think R-Kelly is bad because he likes to pee on people? I say more power to him. Some people like a golden shower. I'm not one to judge, especially someone so talented as Mr. Kelly. Granted he definitely slept with that 14 year old but if he got cleared in court then who am I to say otherwise. But Kwame. Man WTF?

"Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick was charged on Monday with misconduct in office, obstruction of justice, conspiracy to commit obstruction of justice and perjury, felonies that could end his political career and send him to prison for as long as 80 years."

80 years?!

I was sure that they would charge him with a few things but when you're mayor and you do so many heinous things that they can lock you up for 80 years, then you f-ed up man. End of story.

I mean dude, skip town. You're in deep.
















But no, Kwame isn't one to run. I guess that's about the only good thing you can say about him. But it's to a fault. The fact is he thinks he is going to be cleared of any wrongdoing and even worse he is not going to give up his reign of pain. Somewhere in that little chicken brain of his he still thinks he can be president one day. Someone needs to punch him in the nose. You know, so his eyes water and he sees things fresh.

Moral of the story: If you don't want someone to see something you write, don't write it down.

Stop texting

-Swami

I guess if you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla

[DISCLAIMER- This post may have redundancy with previous posts, but kiss my a$$, this story's got legs---possibly stripper legs.]

What do Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick have in common with the wildest of wild gorillas? Simple answer. Everything. These two mammals have the wherewithal, gumption and audacity to rise to political stardom by connecting with people on the faux-issues they think they care about (in Detroit it's "who can be the 'blackest'" and in New York it's "who can bust Wall Street's nuts like squirrels before the winter") and then "govern" by polarizing constituencies, while failing to see beyond the diseased tip of their own penises, ultimately falling into the abyss of monkeyishness and "skeet- skeeting" that we now understand to be the political norm. Long, run-on sentence, I know. But I'm on a rant and that's real.


"Like twooooo gorillas in the jungle making love" - R. Kelly



Eliot: "I did not have sexual relations with this woman [she's too old and busted]."
Kwame: "All I need is a hot thang, hot thang, hot thang, hot thang..."

I'm sick of it. Maybe these so-called leaders take too much stock in the "power of the penis" and that's what allowed them to act up like some nubile hominids. But I doubt it.

Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick, you are the bammers of the millennium. As R-Kelly once mused in one of his countless ridiculous-ass songs, "youuuuu don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the helluponoutta heeeere." I look forward to seeing your impending downfall.

Impeach/Recall/Resign,

~Brown Guy

Who Is The Real R-Kelly of Basketball?

Hmm. I do wonder.

Folks, one of my good friends/co-bloggers "Swami-Says" or "Viggy" will go down in history as the R-Kelly of basketball. Right now, it's a toss-up and it's up to you to decide which one of them fits the bill. But let's review the facts, shall we? On one hand,

• Swami-Says penned a song called "You Remind Me (of Rasheed)" that he sings to girls on karaoke night. And in case you were wondering, this goes over extremely well with the ladies. The lyrics go like this:

• You remind me of something I just can't think of what it is
  
  [1] - You remind me of Rasheed, You cry like a baby,
  You know I like that sound, I wanna give you a tissue,
  Girl you look just like my gym floor, I wanna wax it
  And something like my technical foul
  I wanna get fined for $10,000, baby

• Swami-Says's also eats, sleeps and sharts basketball and yells out "LET IT RAIN" when the weather turns funky. (copyright Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Along Came Polly)
  
• Swami-Says implores a traveling mural/alter, as well as dedicated apartment space to "The Bad Boys" and their short shorts-wearing team.

On the other hand,

• Viggy has a propensity to continuously declare that he is "tired of playing" or does "not feeling like playing" and then forgoes all else to play pickup basketball 8 out of 7 days a week come hell or high water. He once explained to me the failure of his words and actions to congeal by saying, and I quote, "Kris, my minds telling me no-000. But my body. My booooody's tellin' me yea-eah!!"
• Viggy also has the penchant for soliciting support for books, utilizing the undeniable logic that says 'if the author has a wicked jump shot, his or her book must be good.' I simply can't argue with that.

Now it's up to you readers to decide. Sound off on our message board and let me know who the real sultan of basketball love truly is.

~Brown Guy

PS. I realize that it's "on" now. Sux.

PPS. One of the funniest lines ever put to screen is that old woman on the Chappelle Show who uttered, "that's my Robert. Always peeing on people." Indeed.