G-Chat: What's Really Real

I know we're taking this G-Chat sh*t slightly too far. But whatever. I'm taking it even farther and if you don't like it, you can kiss my grits. I'm setting aside some time for Kwame "I like titties" Kilpatrick, so be on the look out for that in the near future. In the meantime, here's a G-Chat from my Domestic Life Partner (DLP) and I to hold folks over:

10:36 AM Brown Guy: Today=Ricockulous

totally ridiculous in every way

meetings

PPts

two press conferences

it's not even noon

10:37 AM DLP: well i had a lady stick a metal thing up my crotch and then swipe a cotton swap inside me and then she used some jelly to stick her hand in me

i think i win

10:39 AM Brown Guy: Queen takes Rook.

checkmate

Gross.

~Brown Guy