Money Is Soooo Last Year

So the Dow finished under 12,000 pts today. That's it folks. My goose is cooked. Because I've chosen to invest my money in stuff like designer drugs, oil refineries, commercial banks, media conglomerates and other things that generally make individual peoples' lives very difficult, I feel that the powers that be are now punishing me for my actions. And I doubt I'm alone. Let's face it, people; our economy is screwed. I was just reading something the other day about how you could buy a house in Sterling Heights, Michigan for a bushel of cotton and some pizza-flavored Combos.

The bottom line is that I've just decided that I'm liquidating all of my assets, purchasing a chain gun, and a lifetime supply of bottled water and Ramen Noodles.

~Brown Guy