Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I guess if you gotta be a monkey, be a gorilla

[DISCLAIMER- This post may have redundancy with previous posts, but kiss my a$$, this story's got legs---possibly stripper legs.]

What do Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick have in common with the wildest of wild gorillas? Simple answer. Everything. These two mammals have the wherewithal, gumption and audacity to rise to political stardom by connecting with people on the faux-issues they think they care about (in Detroit it's "who can be the 'blackest'" and in New York it's "who can bust Wall Street's nuts like squirrels before the winter") and then "govern" by polarizing constituencies, while failing to see beyond the diseased tip of their own penises, ultimately falling into the abyss of monkeyishness and "skeet- skeeting" that we now understand to be the political norm. Long, run-on sentence, I know. But I'm on a rant and that's real.

"Like twooooo gorillas in the jungle making love" - R. Kelly

Eliot: "I did not have sexual relations with this woman [she's too old and busted]."
Kwame: "All I need is a hot thang, hot thang, hot thang, hot thang..."

I'm sick of it. Maybe these so-called leaders take too much stock in the "power of the penis" and that's what allowed them to act up like some nubile hominids. But I doubt it.

Eliot Spitzer and Kwame Kilpatrick, you are the bammers of the millennium. As R-Kelly once mused in one of his countless ridiculous-ass songs, "youuuuu don't gotta go home, but you gotta get the helluponoutta heeeere." I look forward to seeing your impending downfall.


~Brown Guy


K said...
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Anonymous said...

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