I say that from now on all G-chat entries must have Brown guy as one half of the chatter. Recently while trying to persuade Brown Guy to watch Gossip Girl (it's now on an all new night (tonight) and it rules) he tried to shatter my hopes and dreams...
Me: Damn!! Dan told S he loves her and all she said back was 'okay'. Then Chuck told B she sucks and no one wants to be her friend. Now B is gonna go to France to escape her problems. What else could happen?
Brown Guy: you're out of control. you need to find control. and then get back in it
Me: Whatever. you need to drink some sparks. just lose it. go full tilt and watch some gossip girl.
Brown Guy: i'm going to stand by with a camera when you turn 28 and i'm going to watch as life neuters you and then i'm going to make you watch the video of it. "just lose it" only happens on new years. everything else is bills and hustling
Me: when i turn 28, I'm going to neuter life. and then pour some hot sparks on it.
Brown Guy: hahaha. that's hilarious. life will take your hops. and then your balls. no dunking. and no "just lose it."
Me: life sucks. i only lose it a few times a year. remember being 21-23? that was losing it 5 days a week for no good reason. getting wrecked because it was half off on wed? wtf? I can't even go to the bar on wed anymore
Brown Guy: yeah. it's terrible. i just want to wild out. but i really can't. or i'm screwed at work. or in life.
The moral of the story is don't grow up. Move to Neverland (the place not the ranch) and drink Sparks.
Or as my boy R Kelly would say, "Now the moral of story is cuff yo bitch. I'm black, handsome, I sing, cause im rich - and I'ma flirt."