Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Metro

I hate the new metro cars. People have no idea where to stand because of the new layout. It's great it the cars are half full, but during rush hour when people pack onto the train the new "handle placements" aren't at all helpful. Metro doesn't seem to understand the majority of people in DC are morons with a "fuck you" mentality. Everyone thinks they are more important than everyone else and for some reason every person that rides the metro is on their way to save their family from a burning building. How else can you explain why people would throw themselves at a closing Orange line door with people already falling out of the doors onto the platform when another Orange line train is two minutes away? See that new bar right next to the door in the picture? There used to be poles that went from the floor to the ceiling near the doors. Why is this important you ask? Well because short and mostly fat lazy people who can't balance needed them to ride the train. (Now I understand that some of our readers are short, it happens, it can't be helped. I also know these readers are not fat and lazy and therefore take up minimal space on a train, so I'm not worried about you) Now that the poles are gone the fat lazy short people only have the bar RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR to hold on to if the train is crowded. On the newly designed train this exponentially increases the number of fat people clogging the door when I try to get on the train. The story behind this rant stems from today's morning commute when I tried to get on a moderately crowded train and had to force my way through two fat ugly chicks and a one fat man who wouldn't move away from the door and smelled like McDonald's and funk. Come on Metro there has to be some way to solve this.


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